SELF-ACCEPTANCE plus - VIDEO (TIES IN WITH POSTING BELOW)

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SONG LAYLA

ERIC CLAPTON

My Latest Slideshow Video w/Music

Published 6/23/20

5 STAGES of ACCEPTANCE - APPLIED to MYSELF!

The ''LEFT-HAND'' Situation

---To state more clearly and to answer why this particular essay is so
important in my own life and why I think it is important to ALL of us. It is an example in my own experience of how one goes from the ''darkness'' into the ''light.'' Well placed Affirmation along the way gave me what I needed to continue. I know that this will work in your life, too!

---I was born with my left-hand missing four fingers. REMEMBER: my missing fingers represent whatever it may be that you, yourself, has yet to accept. Believe me, through much experience, I'll tell you that we are much in the same boat in this! The stages I went through toward Acceptance are very much the same as Kubler-Ross' stages of accepting situations in our lives. She, herself, came upon these as she was looking into how we ''grieve.''

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---FIVE STAGES---

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DENIAL - Keeping my hand in my pocket and not letting others or anyone see or experience the real me. It seemed easier, but I wasn't being honest with myself and that is very important.

ANGER - Came about in the form that I should be able to show my hand, but I just couldn't.

BARGAINING - ''If God will grow my fingers than...'' I became a bit irrational at times because it would keep me from having to face the reality of having the missing fingers. This stage taught me much as I could see that I had some growing and learning to do. My ideas of ''God'' greatly matured here.

DESPAIR - I realized that there was NOTHING I could do to change my situation-except Change My Attitude. Growth was happening, Acceptance was taking place, but I felt very helpless. I needed to - TRUST that it was OKAY to be me. I had to let go of the way I thought it was supposed to be, and actually get on with things. It was one of the most painful situations I ever had to face, but it carried great rewards with it. I was closer to being the person I was born to be. It was in this time - frame of my life that I became a serious candidate for joining the Jesuit Priesthood. This was in the late 1970's.
---A word to the wise in all of this. It is a PROCESS and one will HAVE to allow some time to embody what is going on with oneself. Take it slow and don't try to force anything. It is a natural growth process so all we have to do is just be honest with ourselves each step of the journey we are on. We will grow into whatever we are to gain from all this. Be good to yourself and remember...the simpler the better.

ACCEPTANCE - Gradually you find yourself NOT hiding your hand, or whatever it might be, in your ''pocket'' or anywhere else for that matter. In fact, your attitude can turn so much that you forget that at one time it was even an issue. It is the process where suddenly you can see that which you thought to be a ''Curse,'' is really a ''Blessing.'' Be Well.

Most of this was written in 2005 or so!

(Picture By Lauren S.)

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Forest hermit to Professor, it's never too late to change. | Dr. Gregory...

THIS IS A GREAT TALK!

THIS IS WHAT THE STATE DOESN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND - LONG TERM CARE!

The FOCUS GROUP – FEB. 27, 2018.

REPUBLISHED

---Today we had a focus group for the long-term residents. I am glad that we had an opportunity to speak our minds. I would like to see us have more groups like this. I don’t think we even scratched the surface as to what we could have said. In my own case…I would have done better if I had more time.

WHAT I MEANT TO CONVEY:

---A woman mentioned that she enjoyed the groups that she goes to. I followed her statement with the fact that we should actually have more groups to learn different things. My answer was NOT to the point.

---I meant to say that we should have many more groups that convey SELF- KNOWLEDGE and SELF-WORTH. We should have more groups concerned with REAL REHABILITATION as I see it. We should be concerned with teaching the resident/patient how to know him/her-self. Since we are concerned with sending people into the society/community, it behooves us to equip those individuals with REASONs TO SAY NO. We do NOT WANT folks to fall into the same addictive patterns…so he becomes re-addicted. We need to teach those who are on this track to learn GREATER SELF-WORTH so they are able to say NO to things that re-addict them and cause them to re-enter the addiction system ...and mean it. If we get to the root cause before this happens, we may nip in the bud and keep the RESIDENT/PATIENT from having to deal with another malady stemming from the same root cause that was responsible for his/her entering the system this time. The root cause is usually much the same in each case.

Promotes Independence

---Or, it may be very worthwhile to help the patient discover what it is that really  gives him/her fulfillment. Then we could help him/her to actually learn to implement meeting those needs he has discovered. We would be doing a great service NOT only to the patient who learns this skill, but to the people who are his victim, so to speak. If he doesn't find something productive, he'll wander from pillar to post trying to find something to fill all the extra time that he seems to have, all the while, looking for these VERY ANSWERS and cause some kind of ruckus. In the long run, we could teach the Resident/Patient how to get his/her needs met...and NOT rely on the system or others to do things that he is able to do for himself. If we are able to teach folks to be self-reliant, in this way we promote independence. And...to boot, he will be much happier!

 -– With love and understanding and some SELF-KNOWLEDGE, we hope to teach the Resident/Patient how to make better and more LIFE AFFIRMING DECISIONS. MORE LATER…

---This Is What I CONVEYED To The People From The State In April 2021.  I Am NOT Sure What They Took Away. A REPRINT!

SMART REHABILITATION

 

SMART REHABILITATION

 

CLICK ANY THOUGHTOON!

    ---We think we made a viable case for NOT being DEPRIVED of the necessities of life – being valued, being appreciated, cared for, loved, etc. We know that people do far better in life when they get these needs met. When they are deprived of these fundamental human needs they end up being DEPRAVED (negative) in some way. We assume the physiological needs of food, clothing and shelter are being taken care of.

---When people feel depraved and negative inside, they try to change that feeling. They deal with this situation by involving themselves in something that serves to ease the distress that they are feeling. The only thing that makes a difference and will make things right is something that creates the love and appreciation, being valued, etc., that is needed. Only these things will serve to make the pain better...in the long run. If he/she hits on things that are needed, than a positive boost will be experienced. If he/she heads toward things that increases self-acceptance...than those things will keep him/her on track.

---If what is done runs away from facing the self then the negatives will be experienced. The negatives come into play when one runs from facing himself. He is now NOT getting his needs met.  The ADDICTION is being born at this point. It will be stopped when he/she faces him/herself. He will identify the need and he will meet it. We wish to rehabilitate the whole-person and not just the half-hearted, band aid on cancer rehab that we have been seeing. To rehab the whole person, we should increase his/her self-esteem, his/her self worth, etc. We have to help him/her find a good reason to say NO...and NOT become re-addicted. He/she has to be convinced that there is a good enough reason to say NO...so, he/she has NO need to run. It seems that people have to realize it is worth staying sober. It is better that they are NOT always under the influence.

---Facing up to the fact that I have one hand was the same thing for me. Believe me...if I could face things I didn't like about myself, you can do it TOO. As I said, ''it isn't necessarily going to be easy, but it is possible.'' And, it is well-worth it.

---When you face things that you don't like about yourself. BE KIND to YOURSELF. Take it slow. You DON'T have to start with the most difficult thing that you can imagine about your self right away. It is like the rabbit and the tortoise. Sometimes it is three steps forward and two steps back. Go Slow...but remember you are making progress. This is a ''big one.'' Remember that Slow and Steady wins the race.

---However, if an emptiness is there, then we still have a problem. There is something NOT being faced. He or she will feel a hole within that still needs to be filled. As we said, this emptiness can only be filled by the right stuff. The correct stuff that is necessary would be whatever makes him/her fulfilled for a long period. It's important to be honest…otherwise the emptiness is still there and needs to be filled. For me it was my left-hand, but for someone else it, probably, is something else. What I did realize is that we all seem to have a negative attitude about something about ourselves that we are NOT cool with. Acceptance in this area would NOT be a bad thing and would open the door for getting the needs met.

CLICK THOUGHTOONs!

 ---When we are DEPRIVED of things that we need…that’s when the heartaches begin. We spend much of our time trying to do what is necessary to get these needs met. The more DEPRIVED we are is reflected in how DEPRAVED (NEGATIVE) we are feeling and acting. What I needed existed on the other side of the door. It became the Door of HONESTY. When I told others how I felt about my hand, etc., that is when I began filling in the emptiness about my own situation. I stopped DEPRIVING myself with this newly found honesty about the things that were real in my life and how I really felt. I began to accept myself allowing myself to experience many, more of the good things of life. To be loved, cared for, appreciated, valued, etc. As I said, if I can do it, you can do it.

---Anytime one is not being honest about himself and NOT learning to accept him or herself will still leave him/herself wanting and unfulfilled (DEPRIVED and EMPTY.) He/she will find that he will be making decisions that attempt to create situations that will try to get those needs met in order to feel fulfilled.

---SMART REHABILITATION happens when the patient   embodies the understanding that those experiences that he or she is feeling - valued, appreciated, loved, cared for, etc...are real. He or she is convinced that these NOW exist for him or her as they never did before. Things are different now. They are very real and this is now the way it is.  A complete 180 degree turn is NOT uncommon, eventually.

---SMART REHABILITATION works on helping the patient learn new techniques to feel more valued and appreciated. The patient is taught ways to make better decisions. The patient is encouraged to stand on his own. He or she is given new tools that help to bring clarity to his vision and see things clearly to be able to better negotiate his way through life. He is now assured enough so he/she can rely on him/herself to get what he/she needs. He now has the kind of tools to live a very satisfying non-addicted life. The sky really is the limit. Any limits have always been imposed by him or herself. Mediocrity is always a choice if that’s what is wanted. BUT, now It is NO LONGER something you’re required to settle for. Be Well.

WHEN THINGS ARE RIGHT...THE PATIENT FEELS WHOLE WITHOUT HIS ADDICTION. HE or SHE LEARNS THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO ENJOY LIFE WITHOUT THE ADDICTION!

WHEN THE NEEDS OF THE PATIENT ARE MET, THEN HE DOES MUCH BETTER!


---This a draft. I reserve the right to make changes as I see fitting.

HATEFUL PEOPLE or HATEFUL BEHAVIOR?

 HATEFUL PEOPLE or HATEFUL BEHAVIOR?

---When we meet someone we don’t like at ALL I wonder if it is the person or the behavior that we don’t like. If he/she is someone that is not our cup-of-tea at all, are we reacting to the person or the way that he is acting?

CLICK THOUGHTOON!

---Put this way, what if the person that you just don’t like spent the time with you telling you that he has seen you before and was always taken by how wonderfully that he thinks you treat other people. That puts a different chink in the armor. He also said he ordered a pizza and he was wondering if you want to have some. Pizza just happens to be your favorite food. Suddenly we have someone you weren’t attracted to that is appealing in some way. 

---Now, we can turn this around. A person can act anyway that he wants. He can act in ways that we enjoy OR don’t like at all. He could easily be the same person in each case AND your like and dislike is based upon the behavior and/or attitude that is used.

---Have you ever met someone that you liked, but met him/her years later...and found you dislike him/her very much? Or, maybe it is vice versa?

I have found that people are generally the behavior or attitude that they present. As they grow you find yourself liking or disliking the behaviors and attitude that they use. As you grow, you find your likes and dislikes change, also. They seem to mature.

---We can see that people are changeable and it usually depends on the behavior and/or attitude that is used. And, we find some people are much, more predictable than others. And, also, when we find ourselves going back to the ‘’Golden Buddha’’ within us all, we find that the part that chips away is the very attitudes and behaviors that we are wearing and identifying with. The freer we are of that reveals the ‘’Golden Buddha,’’ within!

---If you want to find out more of the ‘’Golden Buddha’’ see the YouTube film FINDING JOE.

The first 3 mins 40 secs should be enough 'to get' what is necessary to understand about

 ''The GOLDEN BUDDHA!''

I recommend more if you're curious.