Saturday, September 26, 2015

Wednesday, September 23, 2015



 ---I'm sure we all have heard the expressions that it is ''nice to be nice'' and ''there is a lot of power in kindness''...but, were you aware that science is finding that anyone who witnesses an act of kindness – benefits, also. His body chemistry improves when he takes notice of kindness happening. They are calling this warm feeling a ''moral elevation.''

---If you think back to a time when something kind was happening in your can, probably, relate. Scientists are also finding that folks tend to ACT more kindly when witnessing kindness. They are seeing niceness to be contagious in this way.

---If we act kindly toward someone we usually find that is the way they respond. The Golden Rule is in motion and we see that folks generally treat us much like we treat them. Watch how dogs act around you. We more or less get what we give. Be kind, but, also, be intelligent. Don't be someone's doormat. If we are being kind, BUT...realize that that is being driven by an ulterior motive that we have, that will eventually breakdown. That is why it is so important to have a handle on how we, ourselves, operate.

---Knowing ourselves and our motivations and being honest with it all will, probably, provide us with quality relationships for a longtime. In the same vein, if we are playing games with people's feeling we are probably watching ours being stomped on, too. Be NICE, Be KIND and Be INTELLIGENT! Eventually we'll be witnessing kindness, again. The world sure seems in need of some. Be Well!

BE KIND: This is something that we can do!


Kindness: CREATES an 'us' space,
NOT a 'you vs. me' space

---We will start with the premise that we ALL know about kindness. We have probably experienced that by being in the vicinity where ''kind'' was happening. Whether you believe that folks are kind because it is their nature or kindness is a way folks manipulate one another to get their own needs met, we all have a concept of what kindness is.

---If we are kind and act kindly things tend to be more hassle-free. It seems to work better than those times we begin by demanding and acting selfishly. When we are in a situation only concerned with getting our own needs met and have NO concern for what others may be doing...we act opposite to being kind. The more civil we act tends to be a better thing for society in general. You catch more flies with honey.

---So...this is pretty fundamental and we all seem to be aware of it. At onetime in my life we seemed to approach each other with this abandon, but we now carry a weariness and suspicion when we move amongst each other. The old joke has come to past – ''Even if you're NOT paranoid; it doesn't mean you're NOT being followed.''

---It seems we have to get back to an 'us' space. When we see life as a 'me vs. them' proposition, then that is what we will see AND that's when our heartaches begin. It is up to us (you and I) to make this an 'us' space, again. The only thing that will (turn folks back around) is NOT to add to the suspicion that folks already have. If you are kindly and true to this belief, than you will convey that. The quote by Gandhi was right on: be the change that you wish to see in the world. We have to start by being more proactively kind. Be Well.


Wednesday, September 16, 2015


---A very inspiring talk by Dr. BJ Miller. He is the head of the Zen Hospice project at Laguna Honda Hospital in San Francisco. Do yourself a favor and listen to what Dr. Miller has to say. Kudos to all!

Sunday, September 6, 2015

The DOCTOR 1991 complete movie - William Hurt

---The DOCTOR played by William Hurt is a callous jet setter who lacks much in the human relationship /bedside manner department. It is discovered he must be a patient himself and encounter many of the same attitudes much like his own. A movie that should be seen by everyone in the helping profession.

Saturday, September 5, 2015


and US ALL

---I'd like to speak about something that Dr. Sweet mentions in her book, ''God's Hotel.'' On page 29 in one of the versions of the book she speaks of talking to a Miss Tod. Miss Tod had brain cancer that was still growing behind her right eye. The eye had been removed and her eyelid was sewn shut. Dr. Sweet mentions that she was hard to look at.

---Having gotten used to the physical appearance of Miss Tod, and after exchanging pleasantries...Dr. Sweet looked at Miss Tod and asked if there was anything that she could do for her?
She expected euthanasia, some sort of miracle cure, stronger pain medication or even a second opinion. With all the poise and equanimity Miss Tod asked if there was something Dr. Sweet could do about her food being so bland and a pair of eyeglasses. Dr. Sweet mentions being floored by the response. She helped her with those things. Miss Tod changed wards and lived another 18 months.

---What Dr. Sweet learned that day was priceless from my perspective. From Miss Tod's attitude she learned that ''somehow she accepted her fate, and it was the small things, the little daily things, that were important to her.'' Dr. Sweet goes on to speak of bravery at the core.

---She then mentioned something that floored me. Admitting that many young doctors are very healthy, curious, hardworking, etc. What do they know of misfortune? And, even when there is no cancer to deal with, the patient still has his needs and preferences. Reread the section about Miss Tod if you've forgotten the story. As I said it's page 29 in my book and lasts about two pages. It is a good lesson for all of us. Be Well.