Wednesday, December 20, 2017



''A Christmas Carol''

By C. Dickens

 ---I’m sure that we are all familiar with this story by Charles Dickens. We have the penny pinching Ebenezer Scrooge having very little spirit or love in his heart. He thinks that debtors prison is a good enough place for those who can’t payback loans. He sees death as a way to deal with the surplus population. He is really concerned having less people on the surface (of the Earth) to deal with.

---The night is Christmas Eve. He is visited by the ghost of Jacob Marley, who was once his business partner. Marley warns Scrooge of his miserly ways and how he will regret them in the afterlife. He, also, speaks of three ghosts who will visit Scrooge this night.

---The three ghosts visit named Christmas past, present and future. They take him through periods of his life. It is revealed how Scrooge's miserliness took shape and strengthened overtime. BUT…lo and behold he saw the pain and suffering that he caused over the years, also. This was increasingly painful for him to endure watching.

---He has a change of heart. Scrooge learns a very valuable life-lesson through all this. He realizes that mending his ways and being more other-oriented Is far more the way to be. He changes from his penny pinching demeanor to loving others and sharing his wealth. He has now opened his heart and you can see the joy and happiness abound. Though this story is quite well known, it is worth another reading or viewing by those so inclined. Be Well.





---I’d like to share a theme that I see very often. It is the idea of going from selfish to selfless. I think that you have encountered this many times before…though it may NOT have been recognized.

---The famous book - Silas Marner has it. Old Silas was a miser who’d bury his money until LOVE came into his life in the form of a baby to care for left at his door. A Christmas Carol has the old miser Scrooge penny-pinching his way through life until he sees the error in that lifestyle.

---A baby going through the ‘’terrible two’s’’ encounters much the same. Actually, all rites-of-passage are for this - developing and transitioning into the next phase. If he goes through it properly and develops normally his life will be one of caring and sharing. If NOT a smooth journey than one may get ‘’stuck’’ and find it downright difficult to share. He doesn’t transition from the ‘’me’’ vs. ‘’you’’ to an ‘’us’’ space, easily. He gets stuck in getting his me space satisfied. He is still very self-oriented.

---The downside of this is that he never feels satisfied and never knows when he has had enough. The ‘’ideal’’ would be… ‘’me’’ vs. ‘’you’’ smoothly becoming an ‘’us’’ space. If this doesn’t happen, he is always trying to justify himself as a me. Unfortunately, one is a prime candidate for addiction - trying in vain to fill this emptiness by whatever seems to work. It is usually a ‘’feel good’’ distracter making false promises ’’to fill the void, but never does.’’ Ideally, folks go from me, me, me to us, us, us. When LOVE + KINDNESS of some sort comes into it, the transition occurs. When this doesn’t happen is when we continue the heartaches (the same-old, same-old.) Be Well.

Monday, December 11, 2017




 ---Guilt is in the past. If you had done something in your past that isn’t cool with you, it has a way of haunting ALL you do. You find that if you worry about your future it probably means that something in your past has been reawakened (Or, is still awake. You have yet learned all it has to teach you.) You are projecting into the future from something in your past.

---The more able you are to stay in the present, the clearer your thoughts will be. Your past activities (the part of your past you haven’t been cool with) are now clear and you will find that you are able to correct your past behavior…so, you are now good with what you were not good with.

---As things of your past life slough off and you LEARN + GROW, you will find that it is easier to stay in the present and will NOT be swooped back into the past projecting futures that are probably NOT accurate. You may realize that your past was, actually, your present. (Don't worry that could be said for many of us.) The errant behavior that easily pulled you back into the past has lessened and will no longer have the same force it once did. It has become less forceful and you will have actually…GROWN.

---As you find yourself growing you should realize that LIFE is just a journey to be more ‘’rooted’’ in the present moment. As time moves forward you should find that you are more rooted in the present. Be Well.

Thursday, December 7, 2017


What is Being Heard + Taken Seriously?

---Let us first state what we think that folks need to be heard and be taken seriously about. I think that most people want to know they are OKAY! That it is okay to be who they are. A simple ‘yes’ may NOT be sufficient. Folks need to be convinced that it is ALRIGHT to be who they are. Of course the answer is ‘yes’…but, it is amazing that when push really comes to shove…how much that FACT is NOT known.

---The unfortunate part that can happen is that one begins to compete + compare himself with his neighbor to discover the answer to this question. He looks AT his neighbor and answers his own question. He answers the question by knowing if he is doing better than the neighbor…or, if he’s a better person than his neighbor. The answer comes in terms of how he is doing compared to his neighbor and is really NOT the answer he is looking for. (It is about doing/being the best you possibly can be.)

---Being convinced that he is heard and taken seriously frees one to then leave that question behind and be secure with who one is. When someone truly knows that it is okay to be himself…NOT just in comparison to others, one begins to enjoy living fully. He no longer needs to prove what he hopes the answer to be…and moves on to enjoy his new found freedom.

---When one is truly heard and taken seriously…he now has more quality in his life. He has been freed from discovering that answer to the dynamic which plagues most people until they answer it. Am I ’GOOD ENOUGH?’ When he is convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the answer is YES...he will be free. Until then, everything that he does will always have that as part of what he wants to know - am I good enough?

Previously Posted 3/15.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017



---This goes to ALL nurses, volunteers or just anyone in general who works as a CARE PARTNER in any sense. On the other-side...the song - HELP! The BEATLEs - goes to all who have learned (sometimes the hard way) that they may have to eventually ''bite-that-bullet'' and allow themselves to be HELPED.

---I still don't think that we have maximized on this dynamic the best way that we can. Everyone that needs help doesn't necessarily ''fit'' with everyone who wants to give HELP. And...of course, the opposite is true.

---In the course of my writing one should see that I really believe that it behooves both sides to find a partner they can relate to. As being on the patient's side for such a longtime...I will work on what I see the relationship should be instead of what I perceive it to be often.

---It keeps me awake some nights to find an answer we can all live with. I honestly don't feel that it will take much TWEAKING...but, we all must pull together to make it happen.

---Over the years I have found that a simple turn in the relationship is that both sides BE KIND to one another. If people act kindly to each other many things that seem so impossible would simply NOT BE.
Being KIND would work wonders. Be Well!

(There does exist a liability issue at times. If any question exists...ASK your supervisor. He/she will clear this up.)

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Thursday, November 30, 2017


Top Ten List of BLAMERs (CLICK)


---Blame is one of those things that happens MUCH too often. It usually rears its’ head when something we are responsible for isn’t as good as it’s as it is thought it is suppose to be. The ball has been dropped.  NEGATIVE FEEDBACK starts to fly and the EXCUSES come out. The FINGERs start pointing. We usually, then, go the whole 9 yards (if necessary) BLAMING whomever is necessary to make ourselves look good. We SAVE FACE. An old friend that I think is responsible for much that is wrong with the world. We get defensive and then we SAVE FACE. We throw whomever we deem necessary under the bus to exonerate ourselves from any responsibility (blame.)  I would like to say here that even with all of this going on…if there is any credit left on the table we do our best to scoop THAT UP.


 ---We usually admit that we may have done something wrong only as a last resort. At present we seem to get very stuck on who is to blame and his/her other obvious faults that have allowed the follow through and resolution to slip away. Somehow identifying where the blame lies AND who is to be hanged in effigy takes precedence over finding a remedy to the problem. By lowering the bar on most fronts gives us spare time to deservedly berate who he or she is that deserves the blame in our mind. The person being blamed ends up looking so faulty that it is amazing that his input was so necessary in the first place and that he was even allowed to be on the team.

 ---Instead of everyone blaming everyone, we just recognize how rampart it runs and that in general people aren’t very responsible. They are very good at saving face taking credit for things that make them look good. But, folks just can’t basically handle being blamed. People will throw MOM under the bus sometimes if things are getting too bad. We have to learn – People Don’t Always HAVE TO Look Perfect. One learns THROUGH trial and error. Man makes mistakes on the way to learning and more/less on a regular basis. The more difficult we make it to make a mistake the more difficult we make learning itself. I really think that we should reevaluate our attitude to mistake making, blame, saving face and lightening-up on the whole thing. It is a way that we keep the game and the players in a constant state of check. The only way out is to face embarrassment. Folks do toughen up through this procedure AND they learn valuable life lessons, but usually try to avoid this at all costs. If we have learned anything from the many sex scandals we are seeing, everything has a way of coming back. I think it behooves us to put things in order. It behooves us to own up and take responsibility for what we have done. We have all made mistakes in many different fields. There is nobody who is exempt from this. Remember that it is always worse thinking about facing something than the actual facing of it. The verdict is in and we are ALL GUILTY of something or other. We should stop whatever negative things we may be doing. As a response to all this…WE GROW! WE LEARN! Eventually…we are propelled to higher levels when all the pain/discomfort we caused…is resolved.  We begin again and STOP being pulled back down. Be accountable and take responsibility. Be Well.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Tuesday, October 24, 2017





Saturday, October 21, 2017

See how Pixel Buds translate languages on the fly

---It seems there will soon be software using the phone, earpieces, apps, etc., that will be able to translate using audible audio that can be easily used. This seems to be very good news and vital in a hospital. It should cut down on the frustration immensely.

---We have a diversity of people who speak different languages in LHH. How much smoother will each meeting go if we have these earpieces available and ready to go. I am NOT advocating which system may be better, but what I do find exciting is that they should be up and running in the near future.

---The above video is only an example.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Monday, October 9, 2017


As a personal coach, I use pointed and thoughtful questions to help my clients gain more clarity about themselves and to help me better understand my clients and their goals.

I generally ask open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” so that the client is encouraged to dig deeper and uncover answers they may not have realized previously. Often after I ask a question, a client will say, “I've never thought about that before.” 

Once they ponder the question and their feelings about it, it can lead to a profound insight or an “ah ha'' moment. Even in social or casual settings, asking the right questions can stimulate deeper and more interesting discourse. It can set the stage for discovering common interests, developing a more authentic connection, and fostering mutual empathy and understanding. There is an art to asking good questions. No one wants to feel as though they're in a job interview or being grilled for information. A big part of asking questions is listening mindfully to the reply in order to hear beyond the words spoken.

Mindful listening requires watching body language, hearing tone of voice, and being sensitive to what is left unspoken. It also requires asking thoughtful follow-up questions or making reflective or supportive statements. By learning to ask good questions and taking the time and interest to listen mindfully, you are setting the stage for more intimate, fulfilling, and enjoyable relationships.


We care for our parents every day, in the most intimate of ways. But how well do we really know them? Our parents are the most familiar people in the world but also, sometimes, the most mysterious. Who are they as a person? What were they like when they were growing up? What experiences most impacted their lives? What were their hopes and dreams and regrets?
As adults, so many of us don't ask enough about our parents. Yet there's no better way to become closer to a person, even if you've known her all your life. has gathered a list of questions that our elder care experts and editors would most like to ask their own parents. Try them out for yourself. You might gain a new perspective on your parents and learn something new about yourself.
I wanted my student to know that adding value to someone else wasn't something you simply talked about, thought about, or even wrote about – it is something you do. The idea of adding value is basically helping another person to feel valued, to live out of this sense of being valued, and to be able to pass this sense on to someone else.
My Comments:
---I feel that it is very important to express one self. I, also, am aware that it is very fashionable right now to say and do this. I think many of the maladies facing our patients, whether in the hospital or not, stem from a lack of someone encouraging many of the resident/patients properly and at proper times. They never learned OR were never helped to open up and feel the freedom of acceptance and all that goes with that. Instead...many have lived a life alone and isolated never really experiencing life with a semblance of freedom beyond how they measure up to others. They have never felt what it is like to be themselves. Many have only learned to compete and compare themselves to others, failing to make the grade time-after-time.
---My vision is NOT an overnight change where everything is suddenly fixed. It is more one of starting the ball rolling to change the direction from a negative to a positive. Many who have this need are asked the correct questions to spur them on to jump the next hurdle or to cross the next bridge. They realize that there is a joy to be had from increasing ones self-knowledge and how to just slow things down to find his/hers own pace...does wonders. With this insight it is then realized that living a life as a player in the game far outweighs the opposite. I don't expect failure to stop rearing it's head, but one is much better at handling it NOW. He/she is making progress in the final outcome and improving his happiness in the process. Be Well.

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Simon Sinek - NOBODY WINS (Best Motivational Speech Ever)

I don't know exactly how this speech fits, but I think we should hear it seeing that we're expecting the State Surveyors to show up, etc.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Questions 16 - 20 To Ask To Draw People Out!


16. What are you most afraid of?

This is a very probing and enlightening question. Everyone has fears, and our fears reveal our vulnerabilities and pain. When someone shares this with you, you must respond with care, kindness, and trustworthiness. You must treat their fears with dignity so they feel safe connecting with you on this more intimate level.

17. What feels like love to you?

Everyone has their own “love language” — the words, behaviors, and attitudes that make them feel loved and that reveal how they express love. This is a great question to ask your spouse, romantic partner, or a potential romantic partner.

18. What is your strongest personal quality?

Most people feel uncomfortable with this question at first because they want to appear modest. But truly we all want to feel validated about our positive  qualities and have others recognize this about us. People will usually follow up by asking this question of you, and it creates a positive feeling and bond between you.

19. What was your most embarrassing moment?

This is a fun question that can lead to laughter and connection. Most people enjoy telling funny stories about themselves if there isn't shame or guilt involved. Occasionally someone will reveal something painful or shameful, and this is the time to show empathy and caring.

20. If you were president, what is the first thing you would do?

You can learn a lot about someone's political beliefs, ideals, worries, and values when you ask this question. If you want to connect and invite open discussion, just be sure you don't challenge or put down the response you get if it happens to be different from what you would do.

Saturday, September 23, 2017



---Brandon McMillan from LUCKY DOG RANCH was looking for a dog to train into a service animal. According to Brandon, ''it takes that special dog who is able grasp the seriousness of the position.'' The West Los Angeles kennel had a dog that may fill the bill. Brandon met the dog. He had good feelings that this may be the dog, almost immediately. He then named the Black Lab, ''TANK.''

---Dave was medically discharged from the Navy, due to his diabetes. His wife is a nurse who works at the VA Hospital. She was promoted to a new position that changed her hours. She may not be able to perform the duties that TANK was to be assigned. It seems that Dave is a very sound sleeper and tends to sleep through those times when his numbers drop to unsafe levels. His wife had been able to wake him to assist in administering treatment. With the new job, she may not always be there.

---Dave contacted Brandon and asked if a dog could be trained so that, through changes of smell, could be alerted and wake someone difficult to awaken. The plan was, if at all possible, the dog would wake Dave so he could treat himself. Dave was very afraid of not waking at all to care for his young children who needed him. A tall order. Through research, Brandon found that this scenario was, indeed, possible.

---To make a long story – short, Brandon McMillan trained TANK to do so. A real success, so far. Be Well.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Questions 11 - 15 To Ask To Draw People Out.

11. Why did you choose that profession?

The story of how someone landed in a particular profession opens the door to learning a lot about a person and their motivations, interests, education, and ambitions. We spend most of our days working, so the answer to this question also reveals how a person chooses to define their lives.

12. How do you spend your free time?

This is a great follow-up question to the previous question. It rounds out the picture of how this person has created his or her life and what hobbies, interests, and obligations they have created for themselves.

13. If you won the lottery, what would you do?

This is a fun question that reveals so much about a person and their attitudes about money, work, and life passion. Would they leave their job? Buy their dream home? Do something altruistic? Would they be happy about having a lot of money or want to avoid it?

14. Who do you most admire in life?

This is a great question to learn more about the kind of person someone wants to emulate. We admire people whose actions and character reflect what we want in ourselves. This will tell you a lot about the true character of a person.

15. What are your top three favorite books and why?

Sharing favorite books opens the door for interesting conversation and finding common ground between you. It gives you and the other person a chance to learn something new and potentially to understand a new perspective or interest you haven't pursued.

Thursday, September 14, 2017



Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Questions 6 - 10 To Ask To Draw People Out

6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

This question not only allows you to discuss and share travel experiences, but also it affords insights into the other person's interests, personality, and sense of adventure.

7. If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be?

This question really makes people think. We are so attached to our possessions, but truthfully there are only a few that matter deeply to us. When people are forced to define those few, it gives insight into what they value most.

8. What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?

Teachers can play a pivotal role in helping us develop a love of learning, discover our life passions, and draw out our innate skills. Sometimes they are people who inspire us or who simply believe in us and want the best for us.

9. What do you want your tombstone to say?

Although this is a morbid question, it does go right to the heart of what we want for ourselves. At the end of our lives, how do we want to be remembered and what legacy do we want to leave?

10. What was one of your most defining moments in life?

This is a great question to invite sharing on a deeper and more vulnerable level. Often defining moments come during profound life transitions like death, divorce, job loss, etc. It is during these times we are called to make a huge mental, physical, or emotional shift.

Friday, September 8, 2017

1 - 5 Questions To Draw People Out


---One of the more difficult things that I find to do is to, sometimes, break the ice. I’m sure my own shyness plays right into it. I’ve done some research and found these questions to get things started at those times I can’t think of what to say. I notice that there is an open-ended quality to these questions that leaves plenty of room to expand and continue as one sees fit. Good luck with them if you try them. Remember that the purpose is to get to know someone and to learn more about his/her life!

1. What is your best childhood memory?
This question always makes people smile and often leads to a humorous or poignant exchange about family, travel, holidays and traditions, hopes and dreams, and friendship. You learn a lot about someone when they share aspects of their childhood.

2. If you had a chance for a ‘’do-over’’ in life, what would you do differently?

This question gives insight into a person's state of mind about who they are, their vulnerabilities, and their hopes and dreams. Often sharing regrets or unmet desires opens doors to considering new possibilities or the confidence to make needed change.

3. How did the two of you meet?

This is a great question to ask a couple. Or, you can ask when did you get interested in 'such+such.' Quite often sharing the story draws them together in a mutual happy memory, or just provides a happy memory. It gives them a reason to reconnect and allows you to learn more about their past and how they interact together as a couple, or why this certain thing is his/her hobby?

4. What do you feel most proud of?

This question makes people feel you are really interested in them and who they are. Everyone wants to feel accomplished and proud, and we all want an opportunity to share our successes without looking like a braggart. The answers give you great insight into what the person values most in life.

5. What is your favorite music?

The music we enjoy helps define us and reflects the dreams and attitudes of our generation. What we listen to reflects what speaks to our souls. It reveals who we are and what we believe — in an illuminating and honest way that's often hard to put into words.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Wednesday, August 30, 2017



---This clearly states what I was trying to say in my essay. There is much material covered here.

Wednesday, August 23, 2017



---Under the LEAN management technique developed by Toyota we are asked to add value and minimize waste. We have to first and foremost be sure that we VALUE the customer we have. If we are to apply the LEAN management technique to the hospital, we have to be sure we VALUE the resident/patient to begin the process.

---This may NOT be as easy as it seems because I really feel that this has been the problem all along. We really don’t value the resident/patient. Before anyone gets bent out of shape and finds that statement completely outrageous...let’s take a good look at this.

---Often the resident/patient sees himself as having little value. It has been something handed to him by his/her parents or guardians who were unable to encourage him/her properly. They, themselves, were victimized and mishandled by well-meaning folks who really had NO CLUE how to do this either. Since the dawn of time, we (this includes me, also) have been a bunch of clueless people NOT knowing how to value one another. Many are in this same boat...staff and resident, alike (as well as many in the population.) Even though we may want to, it is difficult to assign who is at fault and should be blamed for all this. That is why blame does not get us anywhere in the long run. Instead of looking for someone to blame, we'd do much better working on the remedy.

---Another thing that the resident/patient does (sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly) is he/she defies being liked, loved or accepted by being unlikable, unlovable or unacceptable. Through a contrariness, he becomes exactly what you don’t like so as to challenge you or to prove a point, etc. At least he/she is getting some attention (and this may be more than he has ever gotten for anything else he has ever tried in his entire life.) Being a resident/patient finds that some find satisfaction in playing and being the/a lost cause. They would rather suffer for their rightness that to give in and join. I, myself, have spent some time in this boat in my younger days. ‘’Being TOO complicated for anyone to figure out.’’ When real acceptance enters the mix, that's when we find things changing.

---This is what works for me now, and maybe the saving grace in the whole thing. It is in knowing that this statement is true - ‘’We ALL have VALUE but ALL DON’T REALIZE THIS, YET.’’ This statement is as true for you as it is for me. And it is true for everyone you meet or never meet. It is in knowing that the truth is ‘’there are NO accidents,’’ or ‘’there are NO mistakes. The universe doesn’t make junk or there really is NO litter, all is recyclable...eventually.'’ My struggles to accept my left-hand taught me much of this. Perspective makes ALL the difference.

---We ALL have realizations of this VALUE in varying amounts and it behooves us ALL to help to identify this in each other. When we appreciate anything or anyone, we do this. Remember: we are ALL in this together!

---We see that we give value to things when we value them. Just as we give love to things we love. A fact that is NOT to be taken lightly. This goes for appreciation, acceptance, understanding, etc., too.  Be Well.

---I know that it doesn't exactly mean this, but I couldn't resist!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Friday, August 4, 2017