THREE WAYs TO RESPOND!

Three Different Ways

To Respond To A Personal Comment

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---There seems to be three basic ways to respond to a comment made to you. They say that the weak have a need to get back at the person who made the comment. He sees revenge as his only recourse. Remember the different famous duels we have had in the past. Alexander Hamilton-Aaron Burr for example. Saving Face is a huge thing to some people. In my point of view...it seems very detrimental.

---Others take the stronger route and see forgiveness as the way. If someone makes a comment about you, you can always forgive them for they may be having a bad day and really don't know what they do. Even if it seems that they do...they don't. Most tear others down so they, themselves, appear and look better. It is really short-lived at best, but they don't really know any better. Forgiveness is much better than revenge.

---There is, also, another action that people can take. They can IGNORE the comment. They realize how any negative comment about someone else whether directed at them or not

just reflects the way the person who made the comment and how he feels. It is your choice how you respond. The comment is made and your response (whether revenge, forgiveness or ignoring it) is up to you. This can be an opportunity for real learning.

---You can take the approach that we learned from Mark Twain. MIND OVER MATTER. If we don't mind, it doesn't matter. If we do mind to some degree, then we feel we  have to reciprocate in someway. The more evolved we are, the higher the road that we take. We can either become involved in the drama set forth by someone else or not. We can take issue with it OR we can sit with the comment and honestly look at it to see if there is an element of truth in what was said. We can 'bite-the-bullet' so to speak, and learn what is necessary to learn from the comment. There is a good chance that what was said was NOT completely off the mark. Don't get lost in why the comment was made as opposed to why the comment bothered or bothers us so much. There is probably some adjustment we can make that enhances us as a person. Be Well.

REALITY CHECK:

Reality Check:

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1. Though some people like you…are you okay with the fact that some people don’t?

2. Would you like to spend time with people who know and like you or others you don‘t know?

3. Though you may be attractive…some people may find someone else who is more attractive?

4. Are you okay with the fact that someone that you may consider annoying, is more popular than you are?

5. Do you compare how you’re doing with how others are doing?

6. Do you want to be the best at something or are you satisfied with doing your best?

7. Though you are pretty smart about many things…are you okay with the fact that there are people who are smarter than you?

8. Would you be comfortable giving a 10 minute speech to your co-workers about any subject you choose?

9. Do you feel comfortable with other people all the time?

10. Would you like to spend time with others who judge you or others who don’t judge you?

---Are you aware that people, usually, are keying in on how you behave when they say they don’t like you. Behave in a way that best reflects the values that you want to see in life. Be true to what you believe and how you see it. We are all in this…together! Be well…and be good to one another!

The CRACKED POT!

THE CRACKED WATER POT

By SACINANDANA SWAMI

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on one end of the pole he carried across the back of his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream, the cracked pot arrived only half full. This went on every day for two years, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his master’s house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishment and saw itself as perfectly suited for the purpose for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived as bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

“For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws you have to work without getting the full value of your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and out of compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the wildflowers on the side of the path. The pot felt cheered.

But at the end of the trail, the pot still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and again it apologized for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I knew about your flaw and took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them for me. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. If you were not just the way you are, he would not have such beauty to grace his house.

Moral: Each of us has his/her unique flaws—we are all cracked pots. But a compassionate and expert devotee can engage us in the Lord’s service, and then we can all be useful, despite our defects. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT AND RESIST ACCEPTING YOURSELF UNTIL YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE PERFECT.  ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE NOW.

SELF-ACCEPTANCE - AN EXPLANATION;

How Everything Works Together!

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---To look a little closer at why both statements are true...we must see the importance of self-acceptance. We find this is one of the biggest stumbling blocks that we have. We must know and accept ourselves - AS WE ARE. If we don't do this, we find we are continually trying to know and accept ourselves. Until we do...everything that we do has us wonder if we are GOOD ENOUGH...in some sense?

[IMPORTANT: We don't wait until we think we are PERFECT to accept ourselves. ACCEPT YOURSELF w/ SO-CALLED FLAWS + ALL. Eventually we stop playing this game of wondering if we are perfect or not?]

---Our GIFT is exposed in the answer we give to the above question. If one knows and accepts himself then...the above answer is YES. He will have NO trouble finding his gift. That will be who he is. If he is NOT convinced that it is okay to be himself, then he will answer the above question in the negative. He doesn't know or realize that HIS GIFT IS HIMSELF. It is IMPORTANT to know that EVERYONE REALIZES THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

---ONE finds that to ''give it away'' is this – to help others find who they are? PEOPLE ARE THEIR OWN GIFT! Everything that we need to know is contained within. We give it away in the sense that we help others find who they are...AND, KNOW THAT THE 'BEST' THEY CAN BE IS - TO BE THEMSELVES! You have given away the knowledge that YOUR GIFT IS YOURSELF.

THE PARADOX IS – YOU EITHER REALLY KNOW THIS or YOU DON'T!

---To summarize – if one fully knows that he is good enough...then he will have already 'accepted himself.' He will progress further. He will realize that MAN IS HIS OWN GIFT. By optimizing who he is (reaching his own potential OR  actualizing who he is) he WILL know that he is on course. Otherwise, he won't. Be Well.

The irony of all this is - it either sounds like a jumble of words to you OR it doesn't.

Audiobook by Jiddu Krishnamurti

---I read this and many of JK's books in the 1970's.

''AT LAST'' - HALEY REINHART

Nursing Timeout

HALEY REINHART

Enjoy!