Thursday, December 31, 2015




(Picture: A Good Example)
1. Did you ever plan on something to happen on schedule, and then the plans were changed?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

2. Has the telephone ever rang while you were doing something important?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

3. Has your boss ever given you too much work...and a deadline?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

4. Have you ever been waiting in a long line, getting near to the time you know
you have to be someplace else?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

5. Have you ever lost or misplaced your keys? [A Classic]
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

6. Have you ever been hungry, but had NO food or money?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

7. Have you ever been stuck in traffic?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

8. Did you ever realize that something you had once believed in can't be trusted any longer?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

9. Have you ever been in pain, but had to wait for relief to kick-in?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!

10. Did anyone ever cut ahead of you in line?
If YES, then you've probably experienced FRUSTRATION!



---Frustration, we can see, comes into play when we have an idea to go a certain way...and, we are told we must go another. Our expectations are thwarted. We are inclined to go one way, but are forced to go another.
---We find that this plays out many, many times in our lives. We have one set of ideas, but others have other ideas about what is to be done. We have to learn the art of compromise. It is NOT a bad thing to become acquainted with as we travel.

---Frustrations, big or small, have one thing that they INTERNALLY all have in common. No matter what makes up your life, frustration is based on where you are in life vs. your own potential. It is always between what you are/do, up against our natural talents to do things. Learning how to best deal with these obstacles to growth is the way we learn our life lessons to grow and reach our potential. This all becomes very hairy when our survival comes into the mix.  We have to learn attitudes that repair our ways of handling them. We may need help.

---Whenever we are thwarted in our attempts to grow, we will experience frustration. Stress goes hand-in-hand with frustration much of the time. Frustration can be a prelude to learning. Usually, there is something that is good to know around the corner.

---The FRUSTRATION QUIZ is just a small way we see that frustration is potentially there all-the-time. It may be helpful to write down your biggest oppressive situations. Also, write down times you have been the oppressor. OR, you can have yourself a fun, safe time this NEW YEAR'S and come back to it sometime in the near future. Be Well and Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 19, 2015




Monday, December 14, 2015



Thursday, December 10, 2015



---This may spur you on to listen to her TEDtalks + YouTubes.

Sunday, December 6, 2015


What Realization Helps Stop Us Hating?


---You can have one realization that stops you from disliking other people. It is the realization that keeps others off of any negative list we may have. Realization: You don’t hate or dislike the other person or people, but hate or dislike the behavior that is used.

---When you look into this a bit more deeply we find that it generally the behavior or attitude of other people (or our own) that causes ALL the problems. That’s what we find ourselves reacting to.

---To go a step further into this cave…we find that the values one has, directs what attitudes + behaviors the person uses. If the values change, than usually the attitudes + behaviors change.

---Attitudes + behaviors can be like coats folks put-on or take-off. If someone is doing something we don’t particularly like or saying something we find irritating they are probably wearing a garment from ‘’His Own Values Store’’ that we don’t like. The opposite is true if we find we like something.


---If we want to make changes in our attitudes and behaviors - we have to make changes in the values to insure any lasting changes are made. Peoples values are difficult to mess with as they reflect how they believe life works and are set very deeply inside. Wherever one truly finds himself in this crazy thing we call life and living PROBABLY/UNDOUBTEDLY has a value system that backs it up. And…it was PROBABLY/UNDOUBTEDLY set in place by a deep-seated reason why it is there. If we want the best for others than we will undoubtedly think good thoughts. If we don’t want what is best for others and treat them negatively, we will probably find that the way we have been treating others is the way we ’’are and will be’’ treated - negatively. It will be this way until…we make a positive change in our values…to remedy the situation. That’s why it pays well to treat others kindly or find out why we don‘t. Check your values! This could be the most important thing that you have ever done. Be Well.

(You will find positive values take root much easier than anything negative...if we tend to be positive)

---If you find you have a strong prejudice based on something beyond the annoyances of behaviors, than maybe you should talk to someone to help you delve more deeply into it.

Sunday, November 22, 2015


Decisions FOR or Decisions WITH

---There once were two brothers, who were very different. The big difference that was quite noticeable was that one of the brothers had decisions made for him, for the most part...while the other brother made his own decisions, for the most part.

---The brother who had his decisions all made for him never seemed to develop the ability to make decisions. When left to his own devices, which wasn't often, the poor guy wouldn't know what to do. If the truth be told...he did NOT know himself very well. The repercussions of decisions he made, which weren't many, made many people angry, also.

---The brother who made his own decisions was much more self-possessed and, through trial and error, learned what worked and what didn't. He easily took responsibility for decisions he made, and, if truth be told, most were sound, anyway.

---The brother who made decisions was easier to work with as giving his opinion was an easy thing to do. The brother who did not make decisions, was easily led. He was a sheep in need of a shepherd.

---If we truly are to rehabilitate people, I think that it is extremely valuable to pay attention to the decision-making skills of people we are making well. As would be with any member of the PANE CLINIC...we must be sure that a rehabilitated person is seeing with clarity. With a clearer vision, he is, now, ready and equipped with the tools to make decisions that are solid and building of a brighter future. 

---Those rehabbed in this way learn to make good decisions and learn ways that prevent him from easily being sucked back into a life of disease, illness, pain and hopelessness. Their lives may improve and then may positively affect many lives...accordingly. Be Well.


PANE CLINIC - To clear up ones vision and visibility. To see oneself better and to ultimately increase self-knowledge.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015


I am a supporter of the work of Dr. Lissa Rankin. I hope that this short video (a little over a minute) leads you to her other YOUTUBEs. Her message speaks truth to many people.

Friday, November 13, 2015

WHY WE ARE NOT KIND...All-the-Time!


 ---My nurse says, ‘’you and others have written many articles with very compelling reasons to be kind. They make me ask the question - If kindness is such a good thing, why aren’t we kind more often? What prevents us from being kind?’’

---A good way to ask the question is this, ‘’if we know kindness + love to be unifying and that we seem to be hardwired for them. And, we know that life works better when we realize that we are on the same team. What keeps us from doing things that cause this oneness to happen? Why aren’t we naturally loving + kind? Why do we prevent this from happening in a big way?''

---Well…we are NATURALLY loving + kind. But…we have behaviors and attitudes that keep loving and kindness from coming through. We have values, attitudes and behaviors that block the loving and kindness. Our own ego gets in the way and wants to WIN. (SAVING FACE!) We want to be the best at or better than everyone else or even a designated few that we may have problems with - to assure ourselves that we are OKAY. (I am NOT saying that it is bad to come in first is just BE AWARE that you are not defined by that. It is still better and more stress free to be doing our best than worrying about always being the best.) As a good example for what I the POLITICAL DEBATES that are happening in our country. Watch The potential candidates 2015...DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONs!

---This is NOT new. Lao-Tzu even talked about it thousands of years ago. Instead of being loving and kind with/to each other…we COMPETE and COMPARE ourselves with/to each other. That is the main problem.

---We check and see how well that we’re doing in comparison to how others are doing. If we are doing better than so-and-so, then it, somehow, proves how well we are doing. If someone is achieving TOO much than we berate his character until WE feel more comfortable with it ALL.

---That is really the long-and-short of it. We are busy NOT being sure how we’re doing, so we check to see how others are doing. We COMPETE and COMPARE and get trophies, etc., (Gold, Silver and Bronze) as opposed to just doing our best. That is why we have redefined winning. It is NOT about being the best. It is much more about doing our best. Finding our own pace is more the target. NOT showing everyone how good we are compared to them. Let us NOT be juiced by the failures of others. Let’s be juiced by everyone doing his best. REMEMBER: It is more important to do your best…than to be the best! If folks were NOT so concerned with how they, themselves, were doing in comparison to everyone else, we would ALL be winners DOING OUR BEST! Honestly, we’d be a much happier people. Be Well.


Saturday, November 7, 2015


The ''LEFT-HAND'' Situation

---To state more clearly and to answer why this particular essay is so
important in my own life and why I think it is important to ALL of us. It is an example in my own experience of how one goes from the ''darkness'' into the ''light.'' Well placed Affirmation along the way gave me what I needed to continue. I know that this will work in your life, too!

---I was born with my left-hand missing four fingers. REMEMBER: my missing fingers represent whatever it may be that you, yourself, has yet to accept. Believe me, through much experience, I'll tell you that we are much in the same boat in this! The stages I went through toward Acceptance are very much the same as Kubler-Ross' stages of accepting situations in our lives. She, herself, came upon these as she was looking into how we ''grieve.''
DENIAL - Keeping my hand in my pocket and not letting others or anyone see or experience the real me. It seemed easier, but I wasn't being honest with myself and that is very important.

ANGER - Came about in the form that I should be able to show my hand, but I just couldn't.

BARGAINING - ''If God will grow my fingers than...'' I became a bit irrational at times because it would keep me from having to face the reality of having the missing fingers. This stage taught me much as I could see that I had some growing and learning to do. My ideas of ''God'' greatly matured here.

DESPAIR - I realized that there was NOTHING I could do to change my situation-except Change My Attitude. Growth was happening, Acceptance was taking place, but I felt very helpless. I needed to - TRUST that it was OKAY to be me. I had to let go of the way I thought it was supposed to be, and actually get on with things. It was one of the most painful situations I ever had to face, but it carried great rewards with it. I was closer to being the person I was born to be. It was in this time - frame of my life that I became a serious candidate for joining the Jesuit Priesthood. This was in the late 1970's.
---A word to the wise in all of this. It is a PROCESS and one will HAVE to allow some time to embody what is going on with oneself. Take it slow and don't try to force anything. It is a natural growth process so all we have to do is just be honest with ourselves each step of the journey we are on. We will grow into whatever we are to gain from all this. Be good to yourself and remember...the simpler the better.

ACCEPTANCE - Gradually you find yourself NOT hiding your hand, or whatever it might be, in your ''pocket'' or anywhere else for that matter. In fact, your attitude can turn so much that you forget that at one time it was even an issue. It is the process where suddenly you can see that which you thought to be a ''Curse,'' is really a ''Blessing.'' Be Well.

Most of this was written in 2005 or so!

(Picture By Lauren S.)

Monday, November 2, 2015



---On HALLOWEEN morning I got to talking with one of the nurses. I asked why she didn't wear a costume? Her answer was that it takes her TOO long to go through all that. We have always had a pretty good I said, ''I can probably shed some light on why it takes you so long.''

---She looked at me with a look that seemed to want to hear more of what I had to say. I said, ''it gets to where you're so busy trying to apply it so perfectly that it becomes a real chore to do. You want it to be so perfect that when folks judge you for wearing it, it actually defies judgment ( know of the hurtful judgment, because, it has quietly helped you come undone in the past.'') Then I said, ''that's very common.'' Many, many people suffer from self-consciousness.

---It is saving face and we are never being spontaneous enough to do what we really want. We are afraid to appear wrong and foolish...and struggle to withstand the judgment of others. We may be exposed and found out where others see/know how wrong we actually may be. (And, their response will reveal that...NO matter how silent or loud it is.) WE HATE TO APPEAR WRONG! We have intertwined being even a little wrong with our TOTAL self worth - somehow.

---Until we loosen up and realize that it is alright to be wrong,   sometimes, and to be ourselves, always...we ALL seem to go through this struggle – TO FIND OURSELVES or TO BE OURSELVES. It really is okay to be silly and to be wrong...but, we protect these very diligently. But...if the truth be told at those times that our defenses aren't as strong as usual... we, probably, liked it. We may have really liked it. You may have had an experience near the one I describe, drugging and drinking...BUT, then have the drug and drink with which to deal. Don't take yourself so seriously AND you'll do yourselves a tremendous favor. Take it from one who has been there. There is quite a difference from NOT BEING YOURSELF and BEING YOURSELF.

---Our normal look is just one of the many that we could be this very moment! may be the one that best expresses who/what we are at the present time given our present abilities to know and withstand the pressures of the society in which we live. In this light...again, are we being and living at our best? Are we satisfied? Are we happy? Are we living up to our own potential? Remember that if we still blame others for our shows us that we have more learning and growing to do. Be Well!

REMEMBER: This is a draft and may be futzed with a bit.

Friday, October 16, 2015


---This is a gimmicky new homophonic way to get a thought through. We are all very aware of the 'Pain Clinic,' I think. The Pain Clinic is a way that we who have a chronic type of pain, can learn to best manage/live with it. I must admit, I have never been referred there, but know many who have. I, also, know many who are on the staff.

---What I am going to suggest is NOT brand spanking new and even been touched upon by many of the things that I, myself, write. I call it the 'Pane Clinic.' The homophone – two words that are pronounced the same, but are essentially unrelated. The 'PANE CLINIC,' basically, makes many of the same claims as the 'Pain Clinic,' but addresses things from a different perspective.

---At the 'Pane Clinic' we attempt to clear up the vision and visibility of the client involved. This runs on the belief that pain is not organic in nature and is able to be uprooted with the proper vision in its place. (There are many people who have touched upon this, and many who disagree...through a shortsightedness) I, also, believe that this vision is already contained within each person. Through a proper clearing away of all that is not that...we then have the chi, the viriditas**, the god force or whatever you want to call it, left. That does the healing.

---Here we have the truth that sets you free meeting Einstein's equation of E=MC2. At that point where matter changes to energy or the physical to spirit we have the vision getting clearer and/or the 'pane being cleaner' than it once was. This new visibility/vision ALLOWs* the healing. One now sees with new eyes. This dynamic is already very well known in different disciplines around the world. The major problem is that there are many beings who still don't (won't) understand its logic. They aren't comfortable with something so simple. It is based on love, compassion and kindness. Wellness is still the objective. It is still about being positive. Think on this for awhile. I think that it will be understood, eventually. Fear is still the biggest obstacle in the understanding. Be Well.

[As always...this is a draft and may be futzed with at anytime by the author.]

*The word ALLOWs was used instead of the word 'is'

**Spelling of 'viriditas'

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Wednesday, September 23, 2015



 ---I'm sure we all have heard the expressions that it is ''nice to be nice'' and ''there is a lot of power in kindness''...but, were you aware that science is finding that anyone who witnesses an act of kindness – benefits, also. His body chemistry improves when he takes notice of kindness happening. They are calling this warm feeling a ''moral elevation.''

---If you think back to a time when something kind was happening in your can, probably, relate. Scientists are also finding that folks tend to ACT more kindly when witnessing kindness. They are seeing niceness to be contagious in this way.

---If we act kindly toward someone we usually find that is the way they respond. The Golden Rule is in motion and we see that folks generally treat us much like we treat them. Watch how dogs act around you. We more or less get what we give. Be kind, but, also, be intelligent. Don't be someone's doormat. If we are being kind, BUT...realize that that is being driven by an ulterior motive that we have, that will eventually breakdown. That is why it is so important to have a handle on how we, ourselves, operate.

---Knowing ourselves and our motivations and being honest with it all will, probably, provide us with quality relationships for a longtime. In the same vein, if we are playing games with people's feeling we are probably watching ours being stomped on, too. Be NICE, Be KIND and Be INTELLIGENT! Eventually we'll be witnessing kindness, again. The world sure seems in need of some. Be Well!

BE KIND: This is something that we can do!


Kindness: CREATES an 'us' space,
NOT a 'you vs. me' space

---We will start with the premise that we ALL know about kindness. We have probably experienced that by being in the vicinity where ''kind'' was happening. Whether you believe that folks are kind because it is their nature or kindness is a way folks manipulate one another to get their own needs met, we all have a concept of what kindness is.

---If we are kind and act kindly things tend to be more hassle-free. It seems to work better than those times we begin by demanding and acting selfishly. When we are in a situation only concerned with getting our own needs met and have NO concern for what others may be doing...we act opposite to being kind. The more civil we act tends to be a better thing for society in general. You catch more flies with honey.

---So...this is pretty fundamental and we all seem to be aware of it. At onetime in my life we seemed to approach each other with this abandon, but we now carry a weariness and suspicion when we move amongst each other. The old joke has come to past – ''Even if you're NOT paranoid; it doesn't mean you're NOT being followed.''

---It seems we have to get back to an 'us' space. When we see life as a 'me vs. them' proposition, then that is what we will see AND that's when our heartaches begin. It is up to us (you and I) to make this an 'us' space, again. The only thing that will (turn folks back around) is NOT to add to the suspicion that folks already have. If you are kindly and true to this belief, than you will convey that. The quote by Gandhi was right on: be the change that you wish to see in the world. We have to start by being more proactively kind. Be Well.


Wednesday, September 16, 2015


---A very inspiring talk by Dr. BJ Miller. He is the head of the Zen Hospice project at Laguna Honda Hospital in San Francisco. Do yourself a favor and listen to what Dr. Miller has to say. Kudos to all!

Sunday, September 6, 2015

The DOCTOR 1991 complete movie - William Hurt

---The DOCTOR played by William Hurt is a callous jet setter who lacks much in the human relationship /bedside manner department. It is discovered he must be a patient himself and encounter many of the same attitudes much like his own. A movie that should be seen by everyone in the helping profession.

Saturday, September 5, 2015


and US ALL

---I'd like to speak about something that Dr. Sweet mentions in her book, ''God's Hotel.'' On page 29 in one of the versions of the book she speaks of talking to a Miss Tod. Miss Tod had brain cancer that was still growing behind her right eye. The eye had been removed and her eyelid was sewn shut. Dr. Sweet mentions that she was hard to look at.

---Having gotten used to the physical appearance of Miss Tod, and after exchanging pleasantries...Dr. Sweet looked at Miss Tod and asked if there was anything that she could do for her?
She expected euthanasia, some sort of miracle cure, stronger pain medication or even a second opinion. With all the poise and equanimity Miss Tod asked if there was something Dr. Sweet could do about her food being so bland and a pair of eyeglasses. Dr. Sweet mentions being floored by the response. She helped her with those things. Miss Tod changed wards and lived another 18 months.

---What Dr. Sweet learned that day was priceless from my perspective. From Miss Tod's attitude she learned that ''somehow she accepted her fate, and it was the small things, the little daily things, that were important to her.'' Dr. Sweet goes on to speak of bravery at the core.

---She then mentioned something that floored me. Admitting that many young doctors are very healthy, curious, hardworking, etc. What do they know of misfortune? And, even when there is no cancer to deal with, the patient still has his needs and preferences. Reread the section about Miss Tod if you've forgotten the story. As I said it's page 29 in my book and lasts about two pages. It is a good lesson for all of us. Be Well.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

The TASK + The TLC

The TASK and The TLC

---We will begin by being sure our definitions are on the same page. We can easily see what is meant by TASK. TLC is the Tender Loving Care that one uses in the situation. This can be or is not being incorporated into the TASK. I hope we are clear on the three conditions I am speaking of. 1] TASK alone (without TLC), 2] TLC alone (without TASK) and 3] The ideal state - the TASK + the TLC, together.

---Next, we can hang these conditions on our Care Partners. Our Care Partners are the people who help us in the moment we are in. The Care Partner is in someway communicating some degree of TASK + TLC. He is communicating some combination of TASK + TLC to the patient.

---The TASKs alone are the easier of the two, to measure. They are very quantitative. If you want something done and someone does it, you can say that the TASK is complete.

---A more difficult measurement is the TLC involved. We will use words like compassion, kindness and niceness to describe these states. We can have a needy care partner getting signs to back off or needy patient not getting much compassion from his Care Partner.

---An ideal here would be one of the correct amount of compassion, kindness and/or niceness passing between the Care Partner and Patient. It is based on what makes the situation run at the optimum. It is very important to know each other’s boundaries.

---Where does one see himself in these different conditions with those he/she deals with? Is the situation working or not? By adjusting the amount of TASK + TLC on either the Care Partner or Patient…is it possible to make the relationship better? You may realize by now that these measurements can easily translate to your everyday relationships, also. Be Well.


Tuesday, May 12, 2015


Amy Van Dyken-Rouen

(plus false story)

---Many of us are aware of the Amy Van Dyke-Rouen situation. She is the Olympic Swimmer with many awards who had an accident. She can no longer walk, etc., BUT, her attitude toward life is incredible. Her enthusiasm is contagious. She vows that she will someday walk, but it is the ‘overview’ she has about the whole thing that is so impressive.

---I was thinking about why her situation and ours seems so different. I’m sure that her zest for living is NOT anything new to her. I would bet that she was very positive to most things in her life. I wondered why there were folks like Amy and folks like those in underserved population.

---I’d like to make up a story about Mary + Sue. Mary got all the breaks. She was encouraged to speak her mind and asked her opinion quite frequently, even in her younger years. Her dad would make up scenarios that she would have to think to get out of. She was supported very much.

---Sue was smart like Mary, but did NOT have the support from others that Mary had. Her dad saw life as a 'dog eat dog world' AND 'get the other guy before he gets you.' She was championed for little and often told that a child is seen but NOT heard. She will never amount to anything, so why bother? He was not thrilled with very much and had a way of cutting those down to size that did. He wasn't too thrilled with the whole Sue situation, either.

---Mary saw that life had a way of offering up challenges. Sue saw things that happen as another obstacle to achieving the obscurity the she sought. Life Sucks…WHAT NOW? Mary was more the Amy type, while Sue had the mindset of the underserved population.

---With such a negative self-image, her hospital stays were difficult. Any of her interactions were difficult. Everything that she did had an earmark of difficulty.

---We would have ALL benefited from having Sue’s approach to life…being improved. Her positive approach is a much, more needed response to life...than her Life Sucks approach which was eating away at her insides.

 A Steady Diet of Well-Placeds Positive Encouragement Works Wonders.

Sunday, March 22, 2015


Entitled To Be Heard + Taken Seriously

---Let us first state what we think that folks need to hear and be taken seriously about. I think that most people want to know they are OKAY! That it is okay to be who they are. A simple ‘yes’ may NOT be sufficient. Folks need to be convinced that it is ALRIGHT to be who they are. Of course the answer is ‘yes’…but, it is amazing that when push really comes to shove…how much that FACT is NOT known.

---The unfortunate part that can happen is that one begins to compete + compare himself with his neighbor to discover the answer to this question. He looks AT his neighbor and answers his own question. He answers the question by knowing if he is doing better than the neighbor…or, if he’s a better person than his neighbor. The answer comes in terms of how he is doing compared to his neighbor and is really NOT the answer he is looking for. (It is about doing/being the best you possibly can be as opposed to how one is doing compared with everyone/anyone else.)

---Being convinced that he is heard and taken seriously frees one to then leave that question behind and be secure with who one is. When someone truly knows that it is okay to be himself…NOT just in comparison to others, one begins to enjoy living fully. He no longer needs to prove what he hopes the answer to be…and moves on to enjoy his new found freedom.

---When one is truly heard and taken seriously…he now has more quality in his life. He has been freed from discovering that answer to the dynamic which plagues most people until they answer it. Am I ’GOOD ENOUGH?’ When he is convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the answer is YES...he will be free. Until then, everything that he does will always have that as part of what he wants to know - am I good enough?


Resident Care Team
---Your Care Team, [IDT], or ''Interdisciniplinarian Team,'' is made up of physicians, nurses, dieticians, activity therapists and other staff. It is where the rubber meets the road. Your Care Plan will be developed for you based on your clinical's team assessment of you. Your needs + preferences are, also, taken into consideration. You are allegedly residing in a unit that best meets your clinical needs. Your active participation with your care planning is encouraged, valued and will help make your care plan more effective. Your family or other relations involved in making decisions regarding your care, called surrogate decision makers, may also contribute to your care planning. You and your surrogate will be notified by your social worker of all quarterly team meetings.

---Your Care Team will meet with you regularly to evaluate your appropriate level of skilled nursing care and clerical needs. If the assigned Care Unit is no longer the optimal place to address your needs, you may be relocated to a more appropriate unit. Your cooperation and input within this process is greatly appreciated.
---Someone from your Care Team is assigned to be your ''Go-To'' person. He or she will meet with you on a bi-monthly schedule to keep the tenets of your last Care Team Conference and your next RCC ongoing and fresh in your mind. He or she jots down requests or questions that you may have over the course of the month. He or she is responsible for ''how things are going for you...on the unit (and the hospital) overall.''

Saturday, March 21, 2015



---We have been asked to make the concept of symbiotic very simple.

---In case you don't know, symbiotic – simplified is where the staff depends on the resident as much as the resident depends on the staff. To go a step further...the patient needs the staff to lead as normal a life (for him) as possible. The opposite is true for the staff. His job depends on the patient.

---The goal of the Nursing Home is for the patient to reach the highest and truest of himself. The patient should thrive + prosper according to his abilities, needs and preferences. The job of the staff is to make that happen...for the patient. Be Well.

Friday, March 20, 2015


Relating To A Member
of the Underserved Population;


---What I have been working on for a long time has finally become clear to me. It is one of those answers that is so obvious that I'm almost embarrassed to talk about it. But...that doesn't hold the final card, so I guess I'll just say it.

---The secret to having a hospital patient be happy and satisfied is to simply ask him what he wants and give it to him. (You may have to massage this dynamic a bit to get the desired response.) The patient may have NOT had his preferences cared about for a long time. He may be out of practice with the very basic art of being civil. Or, it is possible that this was never his strong suit. Have NO FEAR...he will eventually respond in an appropriate manner if you are sensitive to his situation. Eventually, together, there will be something realistic you are able to work with.

---That will usually ellicit a smile and a thank you. He will then be set up for a friendship if one cares to pursue it. Simple supply and demand. Probably the same thing that works on you and your whole family. I majored in economics...I should have gotten to this much sooner.

1] Ask him/her what he/she wants and supply it. If this is done you will receive a smile at the very least.

2] Listen to what he/she has to say AND hear what he/she is really saying

3] Take him/her seriously

---If these steps are followed, I guarantee that you will see changes in your relationships. The more your heart buys into this will be the greater the rewards you reap from doing it. Be Well.

Understand that I am NOT talking about Medical Needs. I am speaking about the patient's communication with his team.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Dr. Lissa Rankin - Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself

---Watch at least some (if not all) of this video. Her point of view is very similar to the way I see things.



---We the people of The HOSPITAL (staff, residents and volunteers) in order to give the taxpayer his fair shake in all-of-this provides that we will all do the best job possible to create a therapeutic environment that bespeaks ‘’wellness’’ at every turn.

---Our objective is to get the best from each resident as they heal in our hallowed halls. We realize that each patient/resident is equipped differently and brings his own set of needs and preferences with him, for better or for worse, is pointed toward improving the quality of his/her life…no matter what that may be.

---It is understood and accepted that the staff and volunteer are here to best make that happen in a way that brings results that are agreed upon by the parties concerned. That includes the resident/patient himself unless a different course of action is in play (conservator, etc.)

---We understand and accept that a certain amount of funds are set aside for this purpose. The funding is used to create that therapeutic environment aforementioned.

---The purpose of this document is to clarify our purposes for being here in the first place and to make a harmonious environment through our interactions that has therapeutic as a common goal.


’Residentology 101’’

Dilemma and/or Dynamic

---I’m talking about being a resident…ANYWHERE. It could be a resident in a house, a street, a city, county, state, country or planet Earth…itself. We ALL have the same thing in common. It is the dilemma we as a people, we as a person - HAVE IN COMMON. It is this dynamic...


---If this happens properly, then the being in question can  ‘’move on’’ to his next step. If this doesn’t happen the way it should - ‘’That’s When The HEARTACHES Begin.’’

 ---The bad times begin or continue, because we will spend ALL of our time trying to be heard and/or being taken seriously. The ‘’enjoying living’’ part has yet to kick-in. Ultimately it is YOU that has to be satisfied + convinced that you are heard and being taken seriously. But, here is why other folks are so important in the scenario -



It really doesn’t work any other way.

---This really is self-acceptance. Once this dynamic is in place the amount of worry and grief that one has goes down immensely. Learning how to listen is a great + necessary skill.